Sunday, February 8, 2009

Body Image...

... Yes, I said body image fellas. So you can just click the X up in the right hand corner. This wouldn't interest you. I recently read a blog on here called Curvaceous In The City. Of course the name caught my attention and upon coming to the blog I heard her very well put together play list. So, as I was jamming out to Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken, I started reading the blogs at the bottom of the page and worked my way up. Her blogs really hit home for me. Not only because she states that she isn't comfortable with her body but she also comes to say that she's afraid that she'll never know the feeling of a man's hugs and kisses, except in her dreams, because of her body. There was a time in my life where I definitely felt that way. Not because of the way my body looked but because of the way that I acted. All through my life I was active in sports. I would hang out with guys and had crushes but it never went anywhere. I guess in my eyes I was just a tomboy. I felt like I didnt act as feminine as all the other girls. It was then that I tried to change myself and the way I acted to try and impress boys. (which was dumb, not only did it not work but it made myself look really stupid).. So I gave that up. Summer after graduating high school something just clicked for me. I was done seeing everyone from high school and I knew that my life was actually starting, and I could start my life the way I wanted to.

And when I say tomboy please dont get it twisted. I wasn't so bad, my legs were shaved, I wore bras, I had put on dresses before (only for basketball and softball banquets, but thats besides the purpose, they were on), and I had kissed boys and what not, but damn.

We'll get back to that. This is suppose to be about body image but now the blog is all over the place like One Night in Paris...

I remember being like 11 or 12 and going to the little community pool with some friends. I take off my shirt and shorts that were covering my bathing suit and went to the deep end to get the party started. Three little boys from my class started yelling, "OMG she has a six pack!"

*Umm, just a little side question. When was having a six pack ever bad?!?!

Ok needless to say.. I was devastated. 15 minutes later everrrrryone was saying it and all I wanted to do was leave. I'm sure my only comeback was, "your mother has a six pack." I know my comeback game wasn't as tight 9 or 10 years ago. I barely knew what a sixpack was but I did know all the little boy's mothers and they all resembled cows. So what the fuck ever.

Life went on and I grew up and got boobies and all the boys forgot about my sixpack. 10 years later here I am. Still not completely comfortable with my body but not motivated enough to change it. The six pack is gone and I want it back LOL. I'm pretty sure that day at the pool scarred me for life. It was the day that I noticed that OTHER PEOPLE noticed my body as well. Please believe, I will never become someone that just lets themselves go. Not only is it disrespectful to yourself, but I feel its disrespectful to your partner. Of course, the person you love and that loves you is suppose to love you the way you are and take you as you are and all that but damn, dont push the limits. I have a boyfriend that loves my body and my curves and everything that comes with it, and I love him for that.

Lately I've been obsessing over my body. Just going crazy. Thinking it just wasn't good enough. But reading Curvaceous blog and writing this one has made me realize that you have to love your body. Big or small, curves or bones, rib cages and stretchmarks, cellulite or... ok ok... that's enough. You just have to love it and be comfortable with it. No one's body is perfect and no one's body is the same, so embrace yours or let somebody else embrace it.. ya dig?! :)


Anonymous said...

i lo0o0ve this post!!!!!
very nice
ps-i wonder how many guys actually DID take the time out 2 read it all the way thru l0l

Tommy said...

I did^^

I'm not gonna say guys are the same but we're also conscious of our appearance...hence why we OD in trying to please the opposite sex